


Sharper than knives

by Kingrey



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24079009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingrey/pseuds/Kingrey
Summary: The first thing Mac noticed as he woke up was the sickening smell of smoke permeating the air. Trying to scrunch up his nose is a mistake, though - pain exploded all through his head and the smell took a second place to the urgent desire to puke. Mac coughed, a harsh thing that sent tiny knives in his lungs, then coughed again, and again, until he feared he might just die from the pain alone.It took a long time for him to notice the hand circling his back soothingly, or the whispered words of comfort above his aching head, said with a texan accent he could recognize anywhere.
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65





	Sharper than knives

**Author's Note:**

> For mischiellis on tumblr with the prompt "Welcome back. Now fucking help me."
> 
> I'm editing this on my phone so it's a little awkward, but I hope you'll like it!!
> 
> Ah and disclaimer, I didn't see season 4 at all, this is a mix between the spoilers I've seen and my own assumptions - I hope it works anyway!

The first thing Mac noticed as he woke up was the sickening smell of smoke permeating the air. Trying to scrunch up his nose is a mistake, though - pain exploded all through his head and the smell took a second place to the urgent desire to puke. Mac coughed, a harsh thing that sent tiny knives in his lungs, then coughed again, and again, until he feared he might just die from the pain alone.

It took a long time for him to notice the hand circling his back soothingly, or the whispered words of comfort above his aching head, said with a texan accent he could recognize anywhere.

"Jack," Mac called, his voice a painful croak immediately drowned by his coughing. His eyes were still closed but, for a moment, he imagined that his partner was back, taking care of him and making sure everything would be alright - a pipe dream that Mac liked to indulge in. Jack was gone though, had been for a long time, and Mac was alone. Alone even when the room was packed with people, alone in his pain because there was no one to share it with like he had done with Jack - alone, especially now that he made everyone but Riley believe he was a traitor, that he worked for Codex…

Codex…

With a gasp, Mac opened his eyes and jerked upright - but a strong wave of pain made him hunch right back into his hands with a groan. There was smoke everywhere, and Mac knew that he was the one to set the fire, but the memories were vague and fleeting. He knew there had been a problem; he knew he was outed as a double agent, and that his aunt had confronted him; he knew… No, he was missing time, and the blood on his hands spoke of a head wound he did not remember.

Movement to his right made him raise his eyes again in panic. Through the dizziness, the confusion and the fear, the fully geared agent in front of him was still easily recognizable.

"Jack?" Mac breathed, meeting his friend's concerned eyes with disbelief.

For a second, Mac could see inside his partner's eyes something different, that he had trouble identifying - there was worry here, and sadness, but also something fragile and vulnerable. Jack was quick to conceal it though, his features hardening as his hands went to rest on his firearm.

"Welcome back," he bit out. "Now fucking help me!"

He gestured to the weird contraption in the centre of the room and it came back to Mac with a flash - the Codex bomb, being made as a traitor, his aunt… He made an explosion to distract but she had seen through his tactics and it all went wrong from here and-

Swallowing, his head turned to the back of the room and there she was - Gwendolyn Hayes, all that was left of his family, eyes open and unseeing. Images of their struggles flashed through Mac's head, and he remembered desperately trying to push her and her knife off him, frantic in his panic until she fell and didn't get up - the knife he hadn't tracked embedded in her back. Then, there had been an explosion that Mac had set up himself, and if she wasn't before, it certainly was the last straw for her body. Mac wanted to be sick.

"She's dead," Jack confirmed, even if it was quite obvious, "and we'll be too if you don't help me and defuse this bomb, so I don't care if you went crazy and betrayed Phoenix-"

"I didn't," Mac whispered, scooting closer to the bomb, feeling queasy from the concussion he certainly had and from the guilt burning in his stomach, only worsened by Jack's obvious anger.

"You sure?" Jack growled, "'Cause I came back very happy to see my team and I was told that not only my best friend went completely nut, he also dragged the closest thing I have to a daughter into this-"

"I didn't!" Mac yelled, ignoring the jab about not being the closest thing Jack had to a son - or, better yet, turning it into resentment and anger. "And you would know that if you  _ stayed _ instead of going on a two-years mission with no contact!"

"So it's my fault now? You were okay with me going!"

Mac laughed, an ugly and tearful sound wrecking his body, but didn't answer, because he didn't think he could. Had he been okay with it? He knew he had pretended to be, for Jack's sake, secretly hoping that he would see right through him and stay home - but that was selfish, and he couldn't really blame Jack for not reading between the lines. He wanted to, though. Wanted to tell him about the growing loneliness, about losing his dad and realising that he was all alone, everything he thought to be permanent and safe in his life now gone. His relationship with Desi was unstable, his with Riley was changing, Bozer was growing more distant - or maybe he was the problem once again, the common variable that was to blame for all it destroyed.

He wanted to tell Jack all that, but the worst thing was realising that he couldn't - that his relation with Jack had changed too and that he didn't know the man in front of him as well as he knew his partner. He wondered if Jack was seeing the same thing.

"Is Riley alright?" Mac asked after some minutes of tense silence, still trying to make sense of the bomb. "I asked her to go but I'm not sure she listened."

"She's outside, Desi took care of it," Jack answered gruffly, his hands leaving his weapon as he relaxed a fraction.

He didn't ask again about Mac's betrayal, but the question was still hanging between them, visible in every tense muscles and every suspicious glances Jack threw his way.

"I didn't- I didn't betray Phoenix, I'm a double agent."

"That no one knows of?"

"Riley does," Mac snapped back, before deflating, feeling adrift in his conflicting emotions. He tried not to look at his aunt's body, but its mere presence behind his back made his body shake with nervousness. Or maybe that was the bloodloss. "Who did you talk to?"

Jack frowned. "Weird guy, not as funny as he thinks he is, kinda want to punch him... Ross?"

"Russ," Mac corrected absantely, wiping the blood off his eyes. "Ross is the guy from Friends."

"If the shoe fits..."

Mac snorted and regretted it, his head still pounding with his heartbeat. Jack's hand went tentatively to his arm and the blond stiffened - it has been a long time since someone touched him. Riley had taken his hand, last time, but that was it.

"Kid," Jack started, the nickname so achingly familiar but which didn't seem to fit quite as well as it did before.

"I don't think I can disarm it completely," Mac announced, ignoring the tentative. "And- And I don't have much time, but if I want to make the explosion less devastating, I need to stay there. You should go," he ordered, hoping that the cold and rational charisma his father always exuded was hereditary for once.

Jack shook his head, tightening his grip on Mac's sleeve. "You know that's not happening."

"Do I?" Mac laughed, heart in his throat. "Didn't you leave once already? Just do it again."

"Kid-"

"Don't call me kid!" the blond yelled, ignoring the nausea and the pain to glare at Jack's too serious and too concerned face. "You think I'm a traitor anyway," Mac spat, focusing back on the bomb, "so act like it."

He told himself that the silence was good - that Jack getting up was good, because that's what he wanted, wasn't it? He wanted his friends safe, even if that meant that he had to be alone once again, and forever in that case. There had been a time when he had been sure he wouldn't die alone, but like everything in his life, certainties had been fractured and destroyed.

Jack walked on the other side of the bomb and plopped back down, his dark eyes meeting Mac's.

"I am  _ not _ leaving," he enunciated harshly. "I'm sorry I made you think… I'm sorry, alright? For what I did, and for not being there for you when you obviously needed. And for how I thought you were a traitor, I'm sorry for that too. I'm not sure how I can make it up to you, hoss…" Jack's voice cracked and, numbly, Mac noticed the tears gathered in the ex-Delta's eyes. "... but I know that I'll spend what's left of my life trying. Even if it only last ten minutes."

"No."

The word had escaped Mac before he could really think about it, but even with his muddled mind, he understood how much Jack had to go.

"I'm staying and that's final," Jack repeated.

"No!" Mac growled, ignoring the fire in his eyes and the fire in his lungs and the fire ravaging the building they were both in - ignoring it all, in favour of sending the most hateful look at Jack. "Don't you see? If you stay, you'll die and, with my damned luck, I know that I will survive!"

The tears gathered in his eyes fell, and the smoke made it painful, but Mac didn't think about it - he  _ couldn't _ think, couldn't breathe, could only see the image of Jack's body he had already thought about a billion time, and had already dreamt about a billion others. His voice was hoarse, full of an emotion Jack had never seen in him.

"Charlie is dead. My dad is dead. My crazy terrorist aunt is  _ dead _ , and I'm the one who killed her." Mac took a deep shaky breath, seeing that the countdown was getting close and knowing that it was Jack's last chance. "Don't… Don't make me lose you too,  _ please _ ."

He was begging at this point, pleading with Jack to see reason, to leave him here like he himself had to leave his dad - because it had been the right choice, hadn't it? His dad heroically sacrificed himself and Mac had to leave, so now Mac could do the whole sacrifice thing, and Jack would leave.

Jack didn't move.

Mac closed his eyes, his hands trembling too much and the bomb as inoffensive as he could make it anyway with the materials he had. He couldn't even think about what else he could do - he was too numb, too empty to feel the same excitement he did before. He could only think about the overwhelming grief he had tried so hard to keep at bay, and which was now rearing its ugly head, making him think that soon, Jack will be part of his body count.

Mac didn't want to be there for that. He didn't think he could live, if Jack was dead because of him.

A hand gently uncurled his hands, prying his nails from his already broken skin. There were still tears falling on their entwined hands, Mac noticed as he opened his eyes, each drop chasing the blood and the grime covering them.

He was exhausted. Had been since his dad died, and he didn't think he could ever get better.

Jack pulled him into a hug, and Mac melted, feeling like he had finally found an anchor in the storm that turned his world upside down. They had mere seconds left and nothing was fixed, nothing was back to the way it was before, because it could never be.

But Jack whispered "You go kaboom, I go kaboom" and, through the beating of his heart, Mac heard the comfort for what it was - at the end of the day, no matter how much we have changed, I'd still lay my life for you and I know you'll do the same.

The bomb exploded, and Mac's last coherent thought was the overwhelming hope that he'd get the time to mend things with Jack.

* * *

Mac hadn't expected to wake up. He had hoped, for sure, but actually feeling the sheets on his body and hearing the voices floating around the room was a surprise. A welcomed one, weirdly enough, because he needed to talk with Jack and-

Jack.

His eyes flew open and even the piercing pain of the sunlight wasn't enough to make him close them again. He tensed, despite the fact that his entire body was screaming at him - he even welcomed this pain, because that was one thing that could always ground him. Jack couldn't be dead, he couldn't be, especially not if Mac wasn't right there with him and he needed to find-

Oh. There he was, on an hospital bed too, arguing with Riley. Jack looked exhausted - Riley too.

"You need to be honest about your pain," she exclaimed, raising her arms to the ceiling. "Stop being so damn stubborn!"

Before Jack could voice the protests he had so clearly thought of, the door opened and Bozer entered, two cups of coffee in his hands. Mac would have laughed at his timing if he didn't feel like he might pass out again any second - and, with a start, he realised it had been a long while since he last wanted to laugh. Maybe it was the overwhelming relief of seeing that Jack hadn't been an illusion, and that he hadn't died on Mac like everyone else.

"Welcome back," Riley ground out in direction of Bozer, "now fucking help me get Jack see reason."

This time, Mac snorted, thinking back on the same line being used against him not too long ago. Like father like daughter, wasn't it? Riley and Jack called his name with the same obvious joy and relief on their faces, and Mac smiled - a tiny, insecure, but finally there smile.

They'd have time to heal.

**Author's Note:**

> Nearly ended it on the explosion but I thought it would be mean lol
> 
> I've been focusing on other fandoms these days, mostly Tangled... I still like Macgyver but I'll admit that I haven't had the time to watch season 4 and I'm not exactly eager to 😅 not too sure about the spoilers I've seen and the whole Desi/Mac/Riley mess... Plus I miss Jack. I'm sorry!
> 
> I hope you liked this even if it was kinda weird!


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